Diary of Arike

I have done it all. Yes. Slept with all kinds of men. The tall dark fine ones without six packs, the ugly dudes with smelling armpits, the fair ones with body hair well shaved like a trimmed garden. The naughty ones who would insist on everything, pushing and pulling you all over every sections till they ran out of zeal and the boastful ones who would just brag about everything but at the end of the day fall asleep like palm oil inside the bottle. My name is Arike. I would not say I am proud of the job, i don’t even know if i should say i did it for the money or whether to affirm that i did it for a long hatred without healing. I was disflowered when i was still young to know the mounting troubles of life. I was raped by a step father who took the advantage of my unloving mother. I would not blame him, I blame my dad who was drunk to the point of meeting death on the express way. Life has being everything to me- the good, the bad and the ugly. The constant rape never ceased after the first and a day i became a killer, I poisoned the only father that seems to care but deprived me of a life as a teen. He died but not without the sea of regrets in me as my busy mother later died of the void created in her heart. Not a physical death though, but a damage i caused helped her to secure a residence at the psychiatric home.

Now my world is alone, brewing in me hatred and the forsaken of the true love no matter what form it comes in me. I love to be cared for after being slept with. I hate the fact that after i sleep with all these men, they just wake up in the end of it without a cuddle, all what they cared is that satisfaction and not the will to satisfy. For me, it is not just enough to sleep with me, I need that cuddle even though you have paid me handsomely and job has been delivered. I still have that thought that paying me does not say we should not have a conversation even after sex; it does not say you should just hold me after wasting that huge energy between my thighs.  Though i receive pay for this, I still want to be whispered to, to have a time where love is made between two and not just being used like a porn artist. Nothing seems different with all these random men that sleeps with me and pays me.

But wonders work in many ways. The unbelievable happens without a single inkling of it. Like every other day, a young man called through our company to request for someone, he just came in from Lagos and looks like one of these young men that can take all energy out of a lady in just a round. The company’s driver drove me as usual and I found myself in a nice hotel with him. We had a few drinks, he talked nicely but i was scared somehow because i had experienced his kind before. You just pray it all ends without you breaking down for days with severe pain below the hips. From his identity card, i noticed he worked with one of the big consultancy firm and he might just be taking some days off to consume the food he has missed for long. “my name is Akin”, he introduced himself to me. I only noticed this fine branded smile and the sweet honeyed words. “he is one of those womanizers”, i mumbled in my heart. “my name is Bunmi”, I responded with a phony smile. We were not allowed to disclose our real names for security reasons. “Do you care for any meal”, he asked politely, “go ahead, the bill is on me”, he pushed in sincerity. I was at first very disturbed because I had presumed the work at hand this night but also i was overwhelmed by his unusual display of kindness and fineness. He really stunned me but a part of me came out to decline, “no, I am okay, thanks” over a minute something reminded me of the job since he booked me for three days. “The first night won’t be that easy” I thought and when he insisted on buying me a meal with shyness I accepted.

We got to his room which is on the fifth floor of the hotel with the use of a silvery-like KONE elevator but inside the elevator and afterwards, he threw some jokes to put me in the laughter mode. His room was T234. He pushed the card given inside a slot and the door opened. He ushered me in first with the cliché “ladies first” which men normally utter when they want to act a little more gentle than their usual selves. I was like ‘what unreliable joke is he making for this night’. Caught in between surprises since I have been used to those silly men who think I am just an object of satisfaction. I walked into the room, the hotel is a five star with wonderful artworks and chandeliers hug above.

I was so fast to lie on the bed, preparing my mind for the routine as my finger got busy with the zip of my short gown and my sandals. He paused me in-between my quick action saying there was no need to rush that we still have 72 hours to do the needful.  I looked at him with much weirdness and ask him what next. His reply was another shock to my spine…he replied that we watch a movie on his computer together.

My mind skipped many rivers of actions and thoughts to what movie this could be. I have seen enough porn films and even watched more for my unborn generations. I have defiled my heart with them and they broke my heart that something that should be of worthy pleasure is reduced to animalistic fantasy. He switch on is PC, and navigated to a folder on his desktop icon, clicked on it and hence opened the film on a VLC player. Another surprise of all, He played a Christian movie for us see together, One of Tyler Perry’s movies. I have heard of it before but I have not got the time to see it… for what reason anyways since it does not support my kind of job but tonight I am glad I would have to see it with one strange guy hoping at the end I would receive a cuddle as I finish my 72 hours job.